The last week of my New Zealand trip was a road trip around the south island. We did over 2,300k in 10 days and much of the scenery was just breathtaking – with the exception of Mt Cook where we couldn’t see 10 feet in front of us because it was raining so heavily.
I caught a bus from the lovely Te Anau to Queenstown airport where I met Mum and we hired a car.
We spent a couple of days in Queenstown going up the mountain on the Gondola to check out the lookout and have a couple of goes on the luge which was hilarious. I went to wave at one of the cameras but when I took my hands off the handle the luge stopped dead scaring the shit out of me. The look on my face in the photo is priceless!
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| Ha ha, panic face! |
It was all good until it started raining because at 85kph the rain pelted you pretty hard, stinging your face – everyone remember Laurina in the Batchelor when she went skydiving in the rain and said it was like ‘being whipped in Passions of the Christ’ – yeah it was just like that.
I also went in the Shark Attack. It’s like a 2-man sub/boat thing that can jump out of the water. Pretty cool but pretty expensive - $169 for 20 min! However I forgot my wallet so I was like, ‘Uhhh Mum, can I please go on the Shark Attack…’ Thanks Mum :)
After Queenstown we travelled to Haast, Arrowtown, Fox Glacier and Franz Joseph Glacier. It sounds like a lot of driving but really it was pretty easy, the scenery is amazing and there are lots of places to stop for views of the lakes and waterfalls.
But the stupid sand flies loved me. I had long pants and a hoodie, but could only wear throngs because of my stripped heels so ended up with feet that looked like I had chicken pox! And anywhere we stopped and they had insect repellent it was like $16-$20 for a tiny, tiny bottle – bloody rip-off merchants!
In Fox Glacier we went to the hot pools – man-made pools filled from thermal springs with lots of garden and ferns for atmosphere. It was nice, very calm and quiet until a couple of dudes started climbing up onto the shade nets and doing bombs into the pool – funny but what dickheads, it was pretty shallow.
After Fox Glacier we went to the Franz Joseph Glacier. I love glaciers. I love the way from a distance they look like a massive surging river that someone has put the pause button on and how when you get close you can see the bright blue emanating from deep within the ice.
The glaciers in New Zealand look different to the ones I saw last year in Iceland (who can believe that's a year ago already!) The glaciers in New Zealand are smaller and sharper, they run down tight ravines, pushing the ground up in front of them like a bulldozer. The Franz Joseph Glacier is found at the end of a walk along a barren, rocky riverbed. Fog rises from the muddy, rushing water and rain drizzles down. We walk towards the dark rocky outcrops in the distance where the mountains begin. The terrain is black and wet, the sky is a dark, gloomy grey and it feels as though we’re trekking into Mordor – and being in New Zealand we just might be!
Before we left Franz Joseph we stopped for lunch, making the mistake of picking a sports bar on Superbowl day and having to listen to patrinut* Americans screaming ‘God save America’ at the big screens after the national anthem. But Mum got a great seafood chowder so said that made all the noise and dickheads worth it.
*Yes patrinut is a word I just made up. It’s a mashup of patriotic and nutty. Patridiotic - patriotic and idiot would also work well here I think.
As we crossed the road we saw two backpackers standing the rain with a sign saying ‘Hokitika’. After lunch they were still standing by the road with their little sign so Mum was like ‘poor little fellas, we’re going to Hokitika’ so we gave them a lift.
They were a couple of young German guys who had thrown in their jobs to travel and had been in New Zealand for four months so far. I know I’ve had my fair share of extended travel but I still get a bit jelly and excited when I hear other people’s big travel tales.
We dropped the boys off at the info centre in Hokitika which advertises itself as ‘A cool little town’ and the description is perfect, it was one of my favourite places.
I kept thinking I’d heard of Hokitika before but couldn’t remember where until I saw a sign in the info centre saying it’s the town in the book The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton - an excellent read.
We went to the Hokitika National Kiwi Centre which was a bit shit, they had a big tank of eels and a couple of kiwis, but we saw a Kiwi so I guess it was alright.
In the evening we grabbed our torches and walked up a Glow worm dell. We turned our torches off and followed a small dark path under the trees. It was pitch black and Mum and I stumbled along whispering loudly at each other, ‘Can you see anything?’
‘I’m switching my torch on,’ said Mum then screamed as the torch lit up two people standing literally two feet in front of her. God I laughed, it was so funny, but a bit odd - they must have heard us coming and just stood there in the dark said nothing.
The glow worms were pretty cool though, like a really starry night when you’re out in the middle of nowhere away from the lights.
But the best thing about Hokitika were the driftwood sculptures. An entire beach of black sands and foamy, grey water crashing against it with fantastical winged creatures, dinosaurs, Neanderthals and hot air balloons amongst the myriad of strange and fantastic things people had built from driftwood and scraps washed ashore with the tides. They were large and small, great and fantastic and some a bit average but all with great imagination.
Next was Lake Tekapo, which was another of my favourite places. The lake is this amazing bright, bright blue and we got this nice cabin with awesome views looking straight out over the lake. So we spent the evening sitting on the front porch snacking and having a few vinos.
Beside the Lake is a cool little church called the Church of the Good Shepard, we went down there and took a few photos in the day, then again at sunset. As the sun went down behind us, the mountains glowed pink, the water still that amazing blue and a huge full moon rose over the dusky mountains.
The area around Tekapo is known as the Sanctuary for the stars and there is a big observatory nearby, but with full moon we couldn’t see a lot of stars.
When I think of New Zealand I’ve always thought of places like Te Anau and Milford. Green, rainy places and mountains. I didn’t expect places like the Clay cliffs where we drove through private property then parked and walked along the 4wd tracks to the cliffs which were yellow, sandstones cliff. They were pointy and had holes all through them, looking like houses for Ewoks or something from Star Wars.
The Moeraki boulders were similarly unexpected. Just sitting on the beach dozens of giant, perfectly round marbles.
Next we stopped in Dunedin where we went to Nature’s Wonders. It’s a farm out on a point near Dunedin. It’s cool, they give you a big green smelly jacket and you hop on a big 6-wheel motorbike and they drive you around the farm to see fur seals and penguins in their natural habitat. You can’t get too close as they’re heavy on the conservation aspect and not intruding on the animal’s territory which is good.
Larnach Castle, also in Dunedin is an actual castle that was built by this super rich dude in 1871. He had three wives, the second was his sister in law and the third rumoured to be having an affair with Larnach’s son from his first wife. Because the castle was in the middle of the arse end of nowhere his wives and children were bored as shit and kept wanting to leave. Larnach added a ballroom to the castle so his daughter could entertain at home and wouldn’t leave home. Good plan except the daughter died of typhoid and Larnach went and killed himself. Good times at Larnach Castle. And the moral of the story: money may get you a cool castle but it’s hardly going to solve your family issues.
Mum and I ended our tour, flying out of Christchurch.
Christchurch was good we looked around the main city, the botanic gardens and the museum. We hopped on the tourist tram and the driver was thoroughly amused that we would come all the way from Melbourne to take the tram! He also showed us all the new carparks in Christchurch ‘a real up and coming industry in Christchurch’ he said.
There are still buildings that are being rebuilt since the earthquakes but between buildings there are just big empty spaces and it feel a little strange.
Speaking of strange, or more just that Kiwi quirkiness, in the Canterbury museum we found Fred and Ethel’s paua shell house. Basically this couple covered all the walls of their living room in Paua shells, it became a quirky tourist attraction and got so big Fred and Ethel became famous and did bread commercials and stuff. Then Fred and Ethel died and the family donated the house to the museum.
So in the museum they have the house that you can walk through, lots of pics of Fred and Ethel, a 5 minute video and man who gives you a brief tour of the photos and who took the job all too seriously.
It was funny, Mum and I were getting the giggles watching the video and going through the house, all the Kiwi’s were just ‘oh yeah, this is a normal thing to have in a museum’ and then there was this guy, a Spanish tourist, who was just totally spun out by the whole thing.
It was so funny, the three of us were just ‘wow this place is hilarious’ and the Spanish guy was like ‘I don’t get it, why is this in a museum?’
Overall New Zealand is a lovely place and definitely somewhere I want to go again. There is heaps to see and do, the scenery is amazing and the people lovely. The food is a bit hit and miss though, but maybe I’m just turning into a bit of a food snob from living in Melbourne all these years!
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