What happens in Vegas...

Driving from Joshua Tree to Vegas the Joshua Trees and cacti are soon replaced with vast stretches of scrubby, dusty desert followed by a winding drive through mountains of bare, grey granite cliffs until you round a bend and suddenly rising up out of the desert is Las Vegas. Civilisation. A gigantic, outlandish, Alice in Wonderland-like civilisation.

We picked up Haley who was flying in from Calgary to join us for her Super Duper Exciting Vegas Weekend 30th Birthday! and checked ourselves in at the MGM Signature.

Our first Vegas adventure was a helicopter ride out to the Grand Canyon, it was super expensive, but yolo people :P

I enjoyed the ride, Haley isn't a great flyer so was a bit stressed on the way out, however a couple of glasses of bubbly with our picnic lunch at the bottom of the canyon made the trip back a bit a better for her.

The chopper went out over Hoover Dam and then into the canyon.  The dam is just so massive, it's hard to contemplate how they would even build something like that.

We had some sweet digs with a large spa bath so after making a big bubbly mess of the bathroom we set off for Haley's first birthday surprise.

We had wanted to see Showgirls but it finished in April so we decided the Chippendales was like practically the same thing.  The Chippendales are Magic Mike-style male strippers and are hilarious, especially when they get girls up out of the audience - you've never seen anything so awkward in your life and of course Haley loved it!

The next day we did a little shopping and hung out in the pool at the hotel.  Robina did her best Bondi Rescue impersonation and helped out a super drunk lady who was pretty much passing out in the pool while the pool life-guards stood there trying to decide whether they should bother getting wet or not.

Our second night we organised seats on a party bus pub crawl, we went to a few clubs and they took us out to the Las Vegas sign, the party bus was this huge black limo with disco lighting and poles for dancing. On the bus were a group of guys dressed matching in white so we called them Boy II Men and kept asking them to sing for us, they didn't sing much but one was keen to give us a strip show on the bus - who needs the Chippendales when you've got drunk baseball draftees!

The next day we roamed the strip looking through hotels such as the Bellagio, Excalibur, Paris, the Venetian, MGM, Circus Circus (Robina and I stayed there a few days after Haley left and it actually has Circus acts in a big top inside the casino!), New York New York and the Luxor.

The hotels line the strip, each one is at least two normal city blocks and is outlandish and garish,
Excalibur looks like a Disney castle, Paris has a fake Eiffel Tour, Luxor looks like an Egyptian pyramid and New York New York fakes a whole city skyline.

And that's just the outside, the insides have faked buildings and streets inside, complete with fake sky ceilings and the Venetian even has a fake canal with gondolas floating up and down.

We took a ride in the gondola and the gondolier was a lovely girl who sang us a few songs in Italian and finished up with Italian Happy Birthday for Haley.

The hotels are massive and amazing but essentially still just casinos, you walk through the gaming floors any time day or night and the casino-zombies are always there at the machines, smoking (yes, inside smoking ugggh), staring dumbly at the spinning and flashing screens and unenthusiastically pushing buttons.

Then after a few shrimpy snack at Bubba Gump we had to return Haley to the airport *sadface*

Robina and I decided to spend one more day in Vegas and we shovelled as much into that day as possible starting with a crap magician who was a bit like 'hey everyone, remember that time when I was a minor tv celeb for about five minutes?'.

Then we visited the Bodies Exhibition, I was spewing I missed when it was in Melbourne so was glad to find out was here and it was really good, it's amazing what they've done with the bodies.

Next was Showstoppers which had a lot of singing, dancing, excellent costumes and lots of classic songs.

And we topped of the night with Cirque du Soleil's Mystere which was amazing, because it's in a large theatre not a tent they had people flying from the ceiling above the crowd and at the beginning there was so much going on I just didn't know where to look!

Mum, I'm gonna be a wizard!

I had an image in my head of LA being sunshine, blue skies, palm trees and wide clean streets full of the wanky and famous.

Reality was a stuffy, grey, smoggy morning driving in 7-lanes (yes 7!) of peak hour traffic on the wrong side of the road.

But with a lot of windscreen wiper swishes instead of indicators and wondering who the hell is supposed to go when there are Stop signs on every corner we arrived at Robina's friend Camille's place.

Camille was lovely, she put us up for a couple of days, drove us around to see the sights (including the wide streets and palm trees I was expecting) and took us to a club called The Abbey where she works as a dancer so we could see her strut her stuff.

Robina and I also went to Santa Monica, Universal Studios and The Getty Museum.

In Santa Monica we started off with breakfast at a little cafe on the Promenade (a little shopping area). Ugggh! it was the worst, Robina's overdone poached eggs were brought to her in a bowl of water, my coffee taste like burnt toast AND it cost us about $60AUD!

So the next day (and the day after that) we went to a place Robina heard about that was opened by a couple of Aussie guys called Bondi Harvest. My mouth is watering just thinking about their amazing pumpkin pancakes, topped with smashed avo, fresh berries and yogurt.

Anyone in LA get to Bondi Harvest and anyone in Sydney the original cafe is in Bondi Junction!

Santa Monica pier was a little underwhelming, it's a big jetty with a carnival on it, crowded with people but kind of rundown and with a lot of hobos about and the nearby park has squirrels dashing about everywhere but smells like piss.  Apparently Venice Beach is similar so I'm glad we didn't waste our time with both.

However I am glad to have wasted my time on Universal Studios and more specifically The Amazing World of Harry Potter!

Universal Studios is just a whole world of outrageous things - Waterworld had lots of big explosions, real life-size buildings from the Simpsons and Despicable Me fight for attention from cartoon characters like Spongebob, Betty Boop, Donkey and Shrek and the Steve Irwin-esque dinosaur tamer was scaring the crap out of tourists with his life-like roaring and moving dinosaur.

But we spent the most time at Hogsmeade - it was so so cool.  I was expecting shopfronts like in the movies and a themed rollercoaster, but got full-scale buildings complete with snow-covered rooftops, wonky chimneys and interiors matching the movies, and an entire castle, inside and out replicating Hogwarts and the rollercoaster was inside!

I drank butterbeer, visited Honeydukes, Zonko's and Ollivanders and went to Hogwarts where the 3D rollercoaster has Dementors chasing you and you get to fly around on a Hippogriff after Harry and Ron.

Driving out of LA we were getting more comfortable with the driving on the wrong side. We headed to Joshua Tree which Americans like to pronounce Josh-ur Tree.

Once you leave the city you drive for hours on highways 3-lanes each way with no sound barriers to block your view and nothing to see in all directions.  After a an hour or so the barren, scrubby, yellow hills are broken up by massive wind and solar farms.

Joshua Tree national park is a big hot desert full of Joshua Trees, their quirky shape messing with the landscape and giving it an alien feel.  Robina and I did lots of the little hiking trails around the park which was fun despite the heat.

Yes Tony Abbott, these look terrible compared to a coal mine.

Looks like Pride Rock

Next episode, awesome Vegas birthday weekend!

Next on border security

Getting from Melbourne to Los Angeles involved a 10 hour flight, a day stopover in Hawaii and a 5 hour flight.

We arrived in Honolulu a bit tired but ready for some breakfast and beach, however it took us a little (like over an hour) longer than expected to get through security after I got detained in 'secondary'.

Poor Robina, not even out of the airport and she'd lost me already!

Coming through passport security they look at your passport and ask a few simple questions, so Robina goes to one desk and I go to the other.

Border security guy (BSG): Do you have any cigarettes and alcohol?
Robina: No.
BSG: So do you have any cigarettes and alcohol?
Robina: uhh, still no.
BSG stamps and off she goes.

Grumpy border security woman (GBSW): Why are you coming to the US?
Me: Holidays.
GBSW: Have you been to the US before?
Me: Nope.
GBSW: Show me your itinerary.
Me: Ohh sorry, I don't have it written out.
GBSW: You don't have an itinerary?
Me: I do, it's just not written out.
GBSW: And where are you staying?
Me: With a friend (show her the address written on the card)
GBSW: How do you know this person?
Me: I don't. She's friends with my friend who I'm travelling with.
GBSW: Are you staying there the whole time?
Me: No.
GBSW: Where else are you staying?
Me: Dunno, haven't organised it yet.
GBSW: You don't know where you're staying?
Me: No, because we're driving around.
GBSW: And how much money do you have?
Me: How much money I have for the trip or on me right now?
GBSW: On you right now.
Me: Oh, none.
GBSW: None? None at all.
Me: Nope.
GBSW: OK, come with me.

She gets up and starts walking off with my passport.

Me: Where are we going?
GBSW mumbles something at me.
Me: Hang on, can I let my friend know where we're going?
GBSW: No. (keeps walking)
Me: Wait, why are we doing this?
GBSW: Well we can't just let you in, you don't even know where you're going!
Me: What? I know where I'm going.

She dumps me in a small waiting room and leaves.
A young couple gets led into the room and they sit too.
I'm waiting, wondering where Robina is, where she thinks I've gone, how long is this going to take and I'm still not sure why I'm even here.
Another couple gets led in.
'This is bullshit, I'm sick of this!' says the guy slumping into a chair.
'Yeah same,' says the other guy, 'every time I travel international.'
'What about you?' the first guys asks the other girl.
'I'm fine it's just him,' she says pointing at her boyfriend.
'Yeah,' he says, 'She's OK, it's just because my name's Mohammed.'
His girlfriend just laughs and shrugs at him.

A border security guy comes in and calls my name, leads me into a small office and offers me a seat.

Nice Border Security Guy (NBSG): So Kelly what brings you to the US?
Me: Holidays.
NBSG: So have you ever been to the US before?
Me: Nope.
NBSG: Not even in 2011?
Me: Ohhh (ding! ding! light bulb moment), I passed through LAX on my way to Mexico.
NBSG: So just a stopover, you didn't stay in the US.
Me: Yeah, just a stopover. I had totally forgotten.

So the NBSG and I had a bit of a chat about my holiday plans, the fact that I still have a job and I show him I have a ticket home in August.

He's happy, I'm happy and off I go to find Robina waiting for me in baggage claim so we can finally go get some breakfast.

Nobody really says this but Honolulu is kind of ugly.  I'm sure Hawaii must get better when you get out of the city and to the other islands, but driving out from the airport is pretty dull, it's not dirty, just a bit stuck in the 70's and rundown.

The beach hot sun, blue skies, blue-green water, a thin sliver of sand between the water and the hotels and totally packed, like Bondi in the summer, every two feet your stepping on someone.

But we had a nice day consisting of breakfast, beach, lunch, beach, ice-cream, beach and dinner before heading back to the airport. Next stop LA!

Super duper fun times ahead!

Yep, that's right I'm off again. This time 3 1/2 months in Canada, the US, Mexico & Cuba.

Most of the trip I'll be travelling with Robina, she's instagram and fb mad so always posting pics which mum says is great because it lets her know I'm still alive.

Our first stop is LA where we pick up a car then head to to Vegas for a super big birthday weekend with Haley who is flying in from Calgary.

After Vegas we have a couple of weeks to drive around check out some national parks, San Fran and back along the coast to LA.

Next we fly to Calgary to hang out with Haley, again we'll do a couple weeks driving around before heading back to Calgary for the Stampede.  Hello Cowboys ;)

Then Robina is going to Hawaii so I'll have a couple of weeks up my sleeve before we meet in Florida.

Because I've had to organise this bit on my own there's not much planned but I'm thinking of some of these places Seattle, Portland, San Jose, Denver, Chicago, Yellowstone NP, New York, New Orleans. If anyone has any tips or suggestions, let me know!

After that I meet Robina somewhere (Florida?) and from there we're going to Mexico and Cuba.

And last but not least I finish off with a week in Cairns for Lisa's wedding and getting to catch up with my high school besties. Yay!!

So super duper fun times ahead!

Way out west

Yeah I know a few of you are a bit confused over where and what the hell I'm up to.

Last year I got a new job and in the interviews there was a lot of 'so can you travel?', 'it could be for long periods' and 'it could be at quite short notice' and of course I was like 'no problems'.

They weren't exaggerating, one Saturday afternoon I got a message telling me to be in Sydney Monday and since starting I've spent 3 months in Sydney and 8 months in Perth.

Being back in Perth after more than ten years has been pretty cool. It's still the same small, slow paced city although the food and bars have definitely improved with some great places to eat like Apple Daily or for some solid pub grub The Grovenor was a two minute walk from my apartment.

At work the Perth office is small so you get to know everyone pretty well and it's fun hanging out, listening to music, writing some code and seeing how long before Sara eats all the Tim Tams or Jasmine says something hilarious that needs to be added to #shitjasminesays

On weekends I caught the train to Mandurah (an hour south of Perth) to hang out with my cuzzies and their kidlets and spent Sundays out in Thornlie playing gaelic footy or ferrying across the river to South Perth to hang out in the park playing volleyball.

The time difference, heat and bright early mornings meant I was wide awake for morning runs. My morning route was along the river with the city on one side and the wide quiet river on the other with only a few other people running or rowing.

Then I'd turn away from the river and run up to Queens Park, a small very green park with lots of well maintained flower-beds, a man-made lake arched by small wooden bridges and totally surrounded by trees and shrubs blocking out the city, a hidden gem right next to the WACA.

I'd run a couple laps, sharing the park with an old hobo on a bench watching the sun rise over the trees, an asian women under a big old oak doing tai chi and a muslim man on his way to work who would stop to watch the ducks, swans and other birds paddling about on the water.

On the weekends I'd do long runs in the other direction ending up in Kings Park, a large park with lots of native vegetation, a fantastic view over the city and a horrifically steep hill to get up there!

While in Perth I had some visitors with Andrea and Robina here for the Aus day long weekend and Mum came over for a weekend too.

Mum and I caught the train to Cottesloe and Fremantle and did one of the Fremantle prison tours, I've done them before but think they're great. The prison has a really interesting history with it's beginnings as a convict prison, then being turned into a federal prison before being closed in the 1990's.

We met Shayne and Kevin (my aunt and uncle) for lunch at Little Creatures, a brewery with some great beer and an excellent lunch menu, before they took us down to Mandurah for a Millariffic night of wine and laughs.

With Andrea and Robina we had a few days so got out of Perth with a road trip down south to Busselton. We spent some time on the beach, walked the jetty and visited the underwater conservatory.

The conservatory is at the end of the jetty, you walk down into it and look out the large windows into the water like a big reverse aquarium!  You can see lots of different fish swimming between the jetty pylons which are covered in a rainbow of corals and weeds like a bizarre other-worldly forest.

We did a day driving around Margaret River visiting the caves, wineries and a chocolate factory,
but one day definitely wasn't enough!

We also went to Rottnest Island only for me to be totally shocked to discover that my two friends don't know how to ride a bike!  They seemed to think this was an ordinary thing to say and couldn't understand why I was dumbfounded, but after a small discussion revolving around me asking them several times if they were having me on, they gave the bikes a try.

They soon got the hang of it so we had a slow ride around checking out a couple of beaches, doing some snorkelling and petting some quokkas.

Quokkas are friendly little furballs of the marsupial kind and endemic to Rottnest Island

Quokkas are well known for being total posers when they see a tourist with a camera

Now my Perth time is over, but news on that in my next post!